I have the absolute best job in the world.
I babysit three beautiful little souls who, even when they're a bit moody and crazy, bless my life more and more every day. God has shown me how much he adores children, so innocent, pure, and fresh. Almost every morning I roll out of bed, go to their house, either fall back asleep on their couch or have my quiet time with my Father. This is one of the reasons I love my job.
God has given me a place to go and meditate on His word; in an environment where I feel absolutely loved, encouraged, at peace, and comfortable. I brought my study bible with me one morning, along with my morning devotional, and was blown away by what God had to show me that day.
I had been in a super funky mood the past two days. My spirit wasn't at rest and I felt as if I was in a dry spell; as if I wasn't growing spiritually but also I wasn't falling apart, just stuck. It has to be one of the hardest things to explain, but I felt as if my life had no meaning. I felt like I was in such a routine that I was making no effect on the world to benefit God in any way.
As I was flipping through the bible, just waiting on God to show me something, I couldn't find anything that was giving me peace. I read story after story, proverb after proverb, and still wasn't feeling anything. I was (and most of the time am) really emotional and started crying. I was definitely glad the kids sleep till almost noon every day so I had my moment to get all of this out of my system before they woke up and saw me.
I stopped, said a little prayer, rested in Gods presence, and went back to reading my bible. When I got to Philippians, I read chapter two about Christ's example of humility. As I was reading, I looked down at the footnotes and the most simple, short sentence caught my heart. It read...
"While Christ had every single right to stay comfortably where He was, in a position of power, His love drove him to a position of weakness for the sake of sinful mankind."
How could I possible be so selfish as to worry about my emotions, my thoughts, my feelings, my dry spells, when Christ has done this very thing for us? This kind of love blows my mind. I cannot fathom any of it, yet I am so driven by it all. God showed me, through this simple verse, that He doesn't want me to worry about why things are the way they are, but to just thank Him for the life He has given me because of His love for me. Christ made himself nothing, emptying himself to come down to earth and save everyone, including me.
God wanted me to quit worrying about my feelings, good or bad, and to just rest them in His hands. Feelings are not sinful, but they can be temptations to sin. Blazing missiles of fear fly at us day and night and these attacks from the evil one come at us relentlessly. Affirming our trust in God, regardless of how we feel, is a blessing to not only our life but to Christ as well.
We are to bring our anxieties out into the Light of Gods presence, where we can deal with them together. God has chosen us as someone worth dying for, that alone deserves all praise and glory the world can give.
I am so thankful for the freedom God has given me, the job He gives me to show me what a blessing we are through three beautiful souls, and the life He allows me to live. He receives every bit of glory, for my past, present, and even my future. I am always going to find myeslf dragging in life, every now and then, but one day, my Father will come down and rescue us from this fallen world and our eyes will be uncovered to see the world as we could have never imagined it before.
"Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him." Isaiah 30:18
(Check out the devotional "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young)
