Friday, September 16, 2011
Lord Undo Me
I heard this prayer on KLOVE this morning......it's been on my heart ever since. Hope it touches you all as much as it did me.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Quality time
The older I get, the more I realize my parents are really cool.
I remember when they use to give me the most amazing, unforgettable advice and I would blow it off like they had know clue what they were talking about. But the older and more mature I have grown, the more my love and knowledge about them grows. It's a strange feeling, but so comfortable and so peaceful.
It's almost a lot like that with Christ. I can remember being in youth and even younger and thinking I knew just what Christ was doing in my life but it didn't have that much of an affect on me. The older and more wise I become in Christ, the more I truly and deeply know how much Christ means to me and how much I mean to Him. The beautiful thing about it all, is it will continue to grow, forever. Twenty years from now, I will look back and have even more knowledge about how beautiful and magnificent Christ is.
I realize more and more how important it is to spend quality time with Christ. I use to just imagine it as maybe saying a simple thank you every now and then or maybe confessing one little white lie sin, but nothing more than that. My heart yearns for Jesus now. I crave to have a conversation with Him. But lately, things have been really tough on me. I feel as if I am just worn out. Sometimes my mouth and brain can't even function enough to speak to my Father. I felt as if even reading Gods word was not giving me the right kind of satisfaction I needed. I tried dealing with it for a couple of weeks until I just couldn't handle it anymore. I broke down and cried. I needed strength from my Father, but I felt as if I was too weak to even try and ask for it. Through this pain, I realized that is when the Spirit works for us. My dad sent this to me the other day, (which in turn proves what I was saying about just how cool my parents really are):
"Gods Spirit knows that we need strength when times are difficult. That's when the Holy Spirit intercedes for us. There are times when we do not know how to pray—when sorrow or helplessness overwhelms us to the point that words are impossible to speak, even to Jesus. All we can do is cry to Him. Thankfully, the Spirit will plead on our behalf—He understands the depth of our thoughts, feelings, and needs, and He translates them into effective supplication according to God’s will."
Knowing the Holy Spirit works on our behalf, when we can't, gave me hope. I had a sigh of relief when this thought came into my head. Am I still feeling in a funk? Sure, but that's life. Sometimes we go through hardships and nasty dry spells with our faith, but at least, for the time being, we can grasp onto the fact that God is never going to fail us. We may not know exactly why this is happening or even what is going to happen, but we do know we have hope in Jesus' powerful name. My devotional couldn't have said it better, soak it in:
"I am all around you, hovering over you even as you seek My Face. I am nearer than you dare believe, closer than the air you breathe. If My children could only recognize My Presence, they would never feel lonely again. I know every thought before you think it, every word before you speak it. My Presence impinges on your innermost being. Be blessed by my intimate nearness. Since I live in you, let Me also live through you, shining My Light into the darkness."
I remember when they use to give me the most amazing, unforgettable advice and I would blow it off like they had know clue what they were talking about. But the older and more mature I have grown, the more my love and knowledge about them grows. It's a strange feeling, but so comfortable and so peaceful.
It's almost a lot like that with Christ. I can remember being in youth and even younger and thinking I knew just what Christ was doing in my life but it didn't have that much of an affect on me. The older and more wise I become in Christ, the more I truly and deeply know how much Christ means to me and how much I mean to Him. The beautiful thing about it all, is it will continue to grow, forever. Twenty years from now, I will look back and have even more knowledge about how beautiful and magnificent Christ is.
I realize more and more how important it is to spend quality time with Christ. I use to just imagine it as maybe saying a simple thank you every now and then or maybe confessing one little white lie sin, but nothing more than that. My heart yearns for Jesus now. I crave to have a conversation with Him. But lately, things have been really tough on me. I feel as if I am just worn out. Sometimes my mouth and brain can't even function enough to speak to my Father. I felt as if even reading Gods word was not giving me the right kind of satisfaction I needed. I tried dealing with it for a couple of weeks until I just couldn't handle it anymore. I broke down and cried. I needed strength from my Father, but I felt as if I was too weak to even try and ask for it. Through this pain, I realized that is when the Spirit works for us. My dad sent this to me the other day, (which in turn proves what I was saying about just how cool my parents really are):
"Gods Spirit knows that we need strength when times are difficult. That's when the Holy Spirit intercedes for us. There are times when we do not know how to pray—when sorrow or helplessness overwhelms us to the point that words are impossible to speak, even to Jesus. All we can do is cry to Him. Thankfully, the Spirit will plead on our behalf—He understands the depth of our thoughts, feelings, and needs, and He translates them into effective supplication according to God’s will."
Knowing the Holy Spirit works on our behalf, when we can't, gave me hope. I had a sigh of relief when this thought came into my head. Am I still feeling in a funk? Sure, but that's life. Sometimes we go through hardships and nasty dry spells with our faith, but at least, for the time being, we can grasp onto the fact that God is never going to fail us. We may not know exactly why this is happening or even what is going to happen, but we do know we have hope in Jesus' powerful name. My devotional couldn't have said it better, soak it in:
"I am all around you, hovering over you even as you seek My Face. I am nearer than you dare believe, closer than the air you breathe. If My children could only recognize My Presence, they would never feel lonely again. I know every thought before you think it, every word before you speak it. My Presence impinges on your innermost being. Be blessed by my intimate nearness. Since I live in you, let Me also live through you, shining My Light into the darkness."
Friday, July 22, 2011
Someone worth dying for
I have the absolute best job in the world.
I babysit three beautiful little souls who, even when they're a bit moody and crazy, bless my life more and more every day. God has shown me how much he adores children, so innocent, pure, and fresh. Almost every morning I roll out of bed, go to their house, either fall back asleep on their couch or have my quiet time with my Father. This is one of the reasons I love my job.
God has given me a place to go and meditate on His word; in an environment where I feel absolutely loved, encouraged, at peace, and comfortable. I brought my study bible with me one morning, along with my morning devotional, and was blown away by what God had to show me that day.
I had been in a super funky mood the past two days. My spirit wasn't at rest and I felt as if I was in a dry spell; as if I wasn't growing spiritually but also I wasn't falling apart, just stuck. It has to be one of the hardest things to explain, but I felt as if my life had no meaning. I felt like I was in such a routine that I was making no effect on the world to benefit God in any way.
As I was flipping through the bible, just waiting on God to show me something, I couldn't find anything that was giving me peace. I read story after story, proverb after proverb, and still wasn't feeling anything. I was (and most of the time am) really emotional and started crying. I was definitely glad the kids sleep till almost noon every day so I had my moment to get all of this out of my system before they woke up and saw me.
I stopped, said a little prayer, rested in Gods presence, and went back to reading my bible. When I got to Philippians, I read chapter two about Christ's example of humility. As I was reading, I looked down at the footnotes and the most simple, short sentence caught my heart. It read...
"While Christ had every single right to stay comfortably where He was, in a position of power, His love drove him to a position of weakness for the sake of sinful mankind."
How could I possible be so selfish as to worry about my emotions, my thoughts, my feelings, my dry spells, when Christ has done this very thing for us? This kind of love blows my mind. I cannot fathom any of it, yet I am so driven by it all. God showed me, through this simple verse, that He doesn't want me to worry about why things are the way they are, but to just thank Him for the life He has given me because of His love for me. Christ made himself nothing, emptying himself to come down to earth and save everyone, including me.
God wanted me to quit worrying about my feelings, good or bad, and to just rest them in His hands. Feelings are not sinful, but they can be temptations to sin. Blazing missiles of fear fly at us day and night and these attacks from the evil one come at us relentlessly. Affirming our trust in God, regardless of how we feel, is a blessing to not only our life but to Christ as well.
We are to bring our anxieties out into the Light of Gods presence, where we can deal with them together. God has chosen us as someone worth dying for, that alone deserves all praise and glory the world can give.
I am so thankful for the freedom God has given me, the job He gives me to show me what a blessing we are through three beautiful souls, and the life He allows me to live. He receives every bit of glory, for my past, present, and even my future. I am always going to find myeslf dragging in life, every now and then, but one day, my Father will come down and rescue us from this fallen world and our eyes will be uncovered to see the world as we could have never imagined it before.
"Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him." Isaiah 30:18
(Check out the devotional "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young)
I babysit three beautiful little souls who, even when they're a bit moody and crazy, bless my life more and more every day. God has shown me how much he adores children, so innocent, pure, and fresh. Almost every morning I roll out of bed, go to their house, either fall back asleep on their couch or have my quiet time with my Father. This is one of the reasons I love my job.
God has given me a place to go and meditate on His word; in an environment where I feel absolutely loved, encouraged, at peace, and comfortable. I brought my study bible with me one morning, along with my morning devotional, and was blown away by what God had to show me that day.
I had been in a super funky mood the past two days. My spirit wasn't at rest and I felt as if I was in a dry spell; as if I wasn't growing spiritually but also I wasn't falling apart, just stuck. It has to be one of the hardest things to explain, but I felt as if my life had no meaning. I felt like I was in such a routine that I was making no effect on the world to benefit God in any way.
As I was flipping through the bible, just waiting on God to show me something, I couldn't find anything that was giving me peace. I read story after story, proverb after proverb, and still wasn't feeling anything. I was (and most of the time am) really emotional and started crying. I was definitely glad the kids sleep till almost noon every day so I had my moment to get all of this out of my system before they woke up and saw me.
I stopped, said a little prayer, rested in Gods presence, and went back to reading my bible. When I got to Philippians, I read chapter two about Christ's example of humility. As I was reading, I looked down at the footnotes and the most simple, short sentence caught my heart. It read...
"While Christ had every single right to stay comfortably where He was, in a position of power, His love drove him to a position of weakness for the sake of sinful mankind."
How could I possible be so selfish as to worry about my emotions, my thoughts, my feelings, my dry spells, when Christ has done this very thing for us? This kind of love blows my mind. I cannot fathom any of it, yet I am so driven by it all. God showed me, through this simple verse, that He doesn't want me to worry about why things are the way they are, but to just thank Him for the life He has given me because of His love for me. Christ made himself nothing, emptying himself to come down to earth and save everyone, including me.
God wanted me to quit worrying about my feelings, good or bad, and to just rest them in His hands. Feelings are not sinful, but they can be temptations to sin. Blazing missiles of fear fly at us day and night and these attacks from the evil one come at us relentlessly. Affirming our trust in God, regardless of how we feel, is a blessing to not only our life but to Christ as well.
We are to bring our anxieties out into the Light of Gods presence, where we can deal with them together. God has chosen us as someone worth dying for, that alone deserves all praise and glory the world can give.
I am so thankful for the freedom God has given me, the job He gives me to show me what a blessing we are through three beautiful souls, and the life He allows me to live. He receives every bit of glory, for my past, present, and even my future. I am always going to find myeslf dragging in life, every now and then, but one day, my Father will come down and rescue us from this fallen world and our eyes will be uncovered to see the world as we could have never imagined it before.
"Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him." Isaiah 30:18
(Check out the devotional "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young)
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Timelessness
I always try so hard to fathom what is beyond our comprehension and understanding in everything God has created. He has a reason for absolutely everything He breathed life into- nature, humans, emotions, feelings, love, our minds, the trees, flowers, and even the time. God has created 60 seconds in 1 minute, 60 minutes in 1 hour, 24 hours in a day, 365 days in a year. It's crazy to think of how intelligent He is and His purpose for the littlest things such as that. But even the little things can get us off His beautiful path He has planned for us to walk on.
God has laid a lot of things on my heart and time being one. For humans, time is a protection; we are frail creatures who can only handle 24 hour segments of life. Time can also be a tyrant, ticking away relentlessly in our minds. We must learn how to master time, or it will be our master.
However, we are in desperate need to just wait with God while He blesses us. Why rush? What does rushing cause? Nothing but stress, anxiety, and unhappiness may be some. God loves time spent with Him. He treasures it more than silver and gold. He adores us and the time spent with us. I've personally learned that I don't need to rush into God's presence with a "time limit" in my mind. I should learn to get lost in His love and forget about the things on my to do list or whatever the day holds. We are time-bound creatures, but that we are to seek Him in timelessness and dwell in it.
As I continue to focus on Gods presence, the demands of time and tasks will diminish. God will bless us for this, making His Face shine upon us graciously, giving us His peace. The amazing thing is our Father completely understands our feelings and our needs for things. Whether it be for time, love, attention, for a better job, joy, happiness, a better house, clothes, food, money.....whatever the need be. How could He not understand? We are made after our Heavenly Father. I am currently reading a book called "Think" by John Piper, and he explained perfectly how human nature is rooted in Gods nature:
"Human feeling and thinking did not exist arbitrarily; they exist because we are in the image of God, and God's "thinking" and "feeling" are more deeply part of His Trinitarian being that I had realized. God the Father hsa had an eternal imagine and idea of himself that is so full it is another Person standing forth- His son, Jesus. And God the Father and the Son had an eternal joy in each other's excellence that carries so fully they are that another Person stands forth., the Holy Spirit. But the amazing reality for our purposes here is that God's existence as a Trinity of Persons is the foundation of human nature as head and hear, thinking and feeling, knowing and loving."
I know with all my heart, God has a reason for the things that happen in our lives. We are each beautifully and uniquely different with all kinds of stories we could tell about the things we have experienced in life. The most important thing to remember is that it's all for a purpose, and that purpose is to glorify Christ. Share your stories with others, small or big, it could change a persons life for eternity. Dwell in Christ's timelessness. Forget about what the world says you have to get done; lose yourself in His perfect love and truth. He understands more than anyone ever will. He knows our needs, our passions, our desires and wants to comfort us in the difficult and good times. I have to continually remind myself these things, and that doesn't make me a bad person. I am human, I am a sinner, and I don't deserve these beautiful gifts from God. But that's the amazing thing- He is so in love with us that He wants us, as dirty as we are, to have the most purest gifts from Him. Gifts of wisdom, understanding, love, hope, knowledge, happiness, and peace. Wow. Just as God allows me the think about those things gives me chills. I could not ask for a better Father.
"If you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver an search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God." Proverbs 2:3-5
(I was inspired to write this from my devotional- Jesus Calling by Sarah Young- I strongly recommend getting it!)
God has laid a lot of things on my heart and time being one. For humans, time is a protection; we are frail creatures who can only handle 24 hour segments of life. Time can also be a tyrant, ticking away relentlessly in our minds. We must learn how to master time, or it will be our master.
However, we are in desperate need to just wait with God while He blesses us. Why rush? What does rushing cause? Nothing but stress, anxiety, and unhappiness may be some. God loves time spent with Him. He treasures it more than silver and gold. He adores us and the time spent with us. I've personally learned that I don't need to rush into God's presence with a "time limit" in my mind. I should learn to get lost in His love and forget about the things on my to do list or whatever the day holds. We are time-bound creatures, but that we are to seek Him in timelessness and dwell in it.
As I continue to focus on Gods presence, the demands of time and tasks will diminish. God will bless us for this, making His Face shine upon us graciously, giving us His peace. The amazing thing is our Father completely understands our feelings and our needs for things. Whether it be for time, love, attention, for a better job, joy, happiness, a better house, clothes, food, money.....whatever the need be. How could He not understand? We are made after our Heavenly Father. I am currently reading a book called "Think" by John Piper, and he explained perfectly how human nature is rooted in Gods nature:
"Human feeling and thinking did not exist arbitrarily; they exist because we are in the image of God, and God's "thinking" and "feeling" are more deeply part of His Trinitarian being that I had realized. God the Father hsa had an eternal imagine and idea of himself that is so full it is another Person standing forth- His son, Jesus. And God the Father and the Son had an eternal joy in each other's excellence that carries so fully they are that another Person stands forth., the Holy Spirit. But the amazing reality for our purposes here is that God's existence as a Trinity of Persons is the foundation of human nature as head and hear, thinking and feeling, knowing and loving."
I know with all my heart, God has a reason for the things that happen in our lives. We are each beautifully and uniquely different with all kinds of stories we could tell about the things we have experienced in life. The most important thing to remember is that it's all for a purpose, and that purpose is to glorify Christ. Share your stories with others, small or big, it could change a persons life for eternity. Dwell in Christ's timelessness. Forget about what the world says you have to get done; lose yourself in His perfect love and truth. He understands more than anyone ever will. He knows our needs, our passions, our desires and wants to comfort us in the difficult and good times. I have to continually remind myself these things, and that doesn't make me a bad person. I am human, I am a sinner, and I don't deserve these beautiful gifts from God. But that's the amazing thing- He is so in love with us that He wants us, as dirty as we are, to have the most purest gifts from Him. Gifts of wisdom, understanding, love, hope, knowledge, happiness, and peace. Wow. Just as God allows me the think about those things gives me chills. I could not ask for a better Father.
"If you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver an search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God." Proverbs 2:3-5
(I was inspired to write this from my devotional- Jesus Calling by Sarah Young- I strongly recommend getting it!)
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Haitian Happiness (Day 7, 8, & 9)
Day 7-8, Thursday-Friday, May 19-20, 2011
Today was no fun at all. I woke up at 2 AM Thursday morning and started throwing up. I threw up about five times all through out the day. I have never felt so weak before and with a huge headache on top of that. Lori took care of me all day long while the team went and gave clean water to families. I was really upset about this because I wasn't able to help out on such a huge experience that I am sure changed lives. I tried getting up and meeting the team around 3 PM but as soon as I got there I got sick again and had to come right back home. The smells and Haiti and the bumpy roads did not help one bit. I have a lot more respect for missionaries. Being sick, not at home, and out of my comfort zone seemed to make everything worse. I was starting to get kind of homesick at this point. I have got to pray hard about this issue though and ask for strength from God. He would not allow me to get sick at this point for no reason- whether its for me to know how to handle this next time I go on a trip or to just see things from a different point of view- whatever that may be. Lori was my mom this day- she did absolutely everything for me in order to feel better. I don't know what I would have done without her!
(To see the video of everyone distributing clean water- check out Journey 117 on facebook and look at the videos!)
Everyone went to church Friday morning around 6 AM except for me and Lauren (because she stayed this time to take care of me). I have met some amazing people on this trip. God is so good to me- He receives ALL the glory in the world, yet we rarely express that. I started feeling a lot better so when everyone got back from church we all went and distributed water filters to families in the community that are not able to get clean water. Without clean water, people are prone to more diseases, bacteria, and cholera. It is amazing the little things we take for granted such as water filters.
This middle of the week is starting to get harder on me. I am starting to miss everyone back home and wondering what they are all doing. I had heard this stupid assumption that the world was suppose to end tonight- the funny thing is I actually somewhat thought this man that predicted it must know something we don't! Retarded...I know...
Next time I go on a mission trip I will remember to bring a loofah, more tank tops because its SO hot, and my face wash/face medicine (pimples are your enemy because you are always sweating!). This heat/dryness is no joke either. I'm starting to fall apart and my hands are so raw and peeling from washing clothes. I pray that God calms and eases my nerves. It blows my mind how much faith people here in Haiti have- so inspiring.
30 water filters we all had to build
Lauren and me building our filter
Day 9, Saturday, May 21, 2011
Today was no fun at all. I woke up at 2 AM Thursday morning and started throwing up. I threw up about five times all through out the day. I have never felt so weak before and with a huge headache on top of that. Lori took care of me all day long while the team went and gave clean water to families. I was really upset about this because I wasn't able to help out on such a huge experience that I am sure changed lives. I tried getting up and meeting the team around 3 PM but as soon as I got there I got sick again and had to come right back home. The smells and Haiti and the bumpy roads did not help one bit. I have a lot more respect for missionaries. Being sick, not at home, and out of my comfort zone seemed to make everything worse. I was starting to get kind of homesick at this point. I have got to pray hard about this issue though and ask for strength from God. He would not allow me to get sick at this point for no reason- whether its for me to know how to handle this next time I go on a trip or to just see things from a different point of view- whatever that may be. Lori was my mom this day- she did absolutely everything for me in order to feel better. I don't know what I would have done without her!
(To see the video of everyone distributing clean water- check out Journey 117 on facebook and look at the videos!)
Everyone went to church Friday morning around 6 AM except for me and Lauren (because she stayed this time to take care of me). I have met some amazing people on this trip. God is so good to me- He receives ALL the glory in the world, yet we rarely express that. I started feeling a lot better so when everyone got back from church we all went and distributed water filters to families in the community that are not able to get clean water. Without clean water, people are prone to more diseases, bacteria, and cholera. It is amazing the little things we take for granted such as water filters.
This middle of the week is starting to get harder on me. I am starting to miss everyone back home and wondering what they are all doing. I had heard this stupid assumption that the world was suppose to end tonight- the funny thing is I actually somewhat thought this man that predicted it must know something we don't! Retarded...I know...
Next time I go on a mission trip I will remember to bring a loofah, more tank tops because its SO hot, and my face wash/face medicine (pimples are your enemy because you are always sweating!). This heat/dryness is no joke either. I'm starting to fall apart and my hands are so raw and peeling from washing clothes. I pray that God calms and eases my nerves. It blows my mind how much faith people here in Haiti have- so inspiring.
30 water filters we all had to build
Lauren and me building our filterOur last day before we left was a blast. After we delivered some more water filters that morning to some amazing people in Haiti, we went to the beach. It wasn't exactly your normal Florida beach, but hey, at least it was a beach! I am so blessed to have known every person on this team. We have all shared so many good memories and have become so close in just 10 days. Its amazing how the Holy Spirit moves and connects people together. We went to Tom's (Healing Haiti guy) guest house and had dinner- and guess what?! It was NOT rice and beans! It was pizza, spaghetti, coke, and chocolate. Talk about overload. We all ate like we have never ate before. It was the best meal I had ever had but definitely regretted eating it later on. After we ate we had a night of worship where we just sand and loved on everyone. It was such a great way to end the night.
Right now I am flying back to Miami and I am still wondering how I am going to feel when I get back home. My heart has been so touched and broken over the last week and my eyes have been open to so much stuff that I have been so blind to. Poverty is huge in the world but you will never know what it truly looks like until you experience it first hand- I believe that with all my heart.
One thing that broke me the most was yesterday when we were delivering water filters to the families in Haiti and there was this one family of ten that was bad off. They had nine kids and one lady who was very ill. She took in her nephew and niece after their parents died in the earthquake. The lady is too sick to work and she can't afford for the kids to go to school either. She was late on last years rent and this years was coming up and she didn't have the money to pay it. We asked her how much total it would all cost her and she said $150- WOW, $150?! Some people spend that much on clothes and purses. How can we go back and be the same knowing there is hurting people out there like this? We prayed over the family and many others and almost every one of them asked that we prayed that their faith would be strengthened. These people have NOTHING but faith to depend on- sometimes we all need to be put in those situations.
I am so thankful to God for this HUGE opportunity He has given me to experience this trip. I can only imagine how many more He has planned for me, but for now, I am just going to take it one day at a time and see how God can continue to use me back home.
Right now I am flying back to Miami and I am still wondering how I am going to feel when I get back home. My heart has been so touched and broken over the last week and my eyes have been open to so much stuff that I have been so blind to. Poverty is huge in the world but you will never know what it truly looks like until you experience it first hand- I believe that with all my heart.
One thing that broke me the most was yesterday when we were delivering water filters to the families in Haiti and there was this one family of ten that was bad off. They had nine kids and one lady who was very ill. She took in her nephew and niece after their parents died in the earthquake. The lady is too sick to work and she can't afford for the kids to go to school either. She was late on last years rent and this years was coming up and she didn't have the money to pay it. We asked her how much total it would all cost her and she said $150- WOW, $150?! Some people spend that much on clothes and purses. How can we go back and be the same knowing there is hurting people out there like this? We prayed over the family and many others and almost every one of them asked that we prayed that their faith would be strengthened. These people have NOTHING but faith to depend on- sometimes we all need to be put in those situations.
I am so thankful to God for this HUGE opportunity He has given me to experience this trip. I can only imagine how many more He has planned for me, but for now, I am just going to take it one day at a time and see how God can continue to use me back home.
Haitian Happiness (Day 5 & 6)
Day 5- Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Today was a lot easier after an emotional roller coaster we were all on the day before. We actually went to a very organized, well taken care of orphanage ran by an American couple. They had been in Haiti for 9 years and were well experienced with how to run things at their place. They found babies either in dumpsters, left at their doorsteps, or from people calling begging them to take the kids because they can no longer take care of them. This couple is a gift from God. They live on complete faith that God is going to provide everything from finances to groceries to the care and love they need to give these children.
After a long (and not to mention hot) day of playing with the children, we all went home and relaxed. A man from John Piper's church, who is the mission leader, met us at the guest house the evening before to stay for a day or two. He taught us a game to play that we have never played before and we taught him how to eat a peanut butter and oreo cookie together. It was such a fun night and to make it even better, it ended up raining! You better believe we stood in that rain for a good while cooling off. It was a great way to end the night!
Day 6- Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Today was a lot easier after an emotional roller coaster we were all on the day before. We actually went to a very organized, well taken care of orphanage ran by an American couple. They had been in Haiti for 9 years and were well experienced with how to run things at their place. They found babies either in dumpsters, left at their doorsteps, or from people calling begging them to take the kids because they can no longer take care of them. This couple is a gift from God. They live on complete faith that God is going to provide everything from finances to groceries to the care and love they need to give these children.
After a long (and not to mention hot) day of playing with the children, we all went home and relaxed. A man from John Piper's church, who is the mission leader, met us at the guest house the evening before to stay for a day or two. He taught us a game to play that we have never played before and we taught him how to eat a peanut butter and oreo cookie together. It was such a fun night and to make it even better, it ended up raining! You better believe we stood in that rain for a good while cooling off. It was a great way to end the night!
Day 6- Wednesday, May 18, 2011
HEBREWS 10
Today was really laid back- we went to an orphanage where they prepare kids for adoption. It was very relaxing and not hard work at all. We painted, washed clothes, made jewelry, ate some more rice (yuck!), rocked some babies to sleep, and came back to the guest house around 5 pm. We washed our clothes back home (after our hands were rubbed raw from washing at the orphanage), did out devotional, and then some of us girls had a heart to heart about certain issues. I cannot express in words how great it is to have such good Christian friends in your life who constantly encourage you in prayer and are always positive. It is a huge asset (I believe) in being happy in life. There are a lot of places in Proverbs where it talks about having an adviser, or someone you can become dependable on and accountable with. God has poured out His blessings on this team and I could not ask for a better group to share this experience with.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Haitian Happiness (Day 4)
Day 4-Monday, May 16, 2011
Monday was a really emotional day for a lot of us. We went to an orphanage called Mother Theresa where sick and dying babies were being held. I say held instead of taken care of because these babies are pretty much just placed in this orphanage to die. The people there do not have the right supplies nor the education to provide for these babies. Imagine a room full of cribs where crippled, disease infected, and cancerous babies lay screaming and crying for attention. It was so heart breaking to see such innocent children with fatal diseases. I could go on and on, but my friend who was in the midst of a terrible nightmare that day wrote perfectly what all took place- this is written by Lauren Phillips, a sweet soul who is passionate about helping children in need:
"At the beginning of the week, my team and I experienced a traumatic passing of an infant that cut down deep within me but changed my life forever. Bear with me as I try to vividly re-tell the story. On Monday, we had the opportunity to visit a home for dying and abandoned babies. When I first heard of this home, I was so excited and I couldn’t wait to go and hold, feed, and bathe babies, but I did not fully understand the heart-wrenching sights that I was about to see. When we arrived and I stepped foot into this home, my heart immediately dropped and I fought tears like never before. Wiping my face with the sleeve of my arm, I made my way down the stairs and before me were rows and rows of cribs filled with sick and dying infants. I cannot express to you in words how many there were; row after row and room after room. As I looked, these infants didn’t even seem to have an identity; their bed was labeled with a number. As I tried to process this scene, my mind began to think, “Are theses infants just a number here?? Is this real??” Inside, my heart was screaming as I looked at each infant. Even though they couldn’t’ understand, I told them, you matter. You are not just a number to Christ. He cares for you. He knew you even before you were formed in your mother’s womb. He loves you so much. This pain will end soon. Hold on little one. I was angry and I couldn’t believe my eyes. I walked through the row of cribs and touched each tiny little hand that reached out for me, starving for love, and begging me to pick them up. I immediately scooped up a sweet baby girl and as soon as she was in my arms, she stopped crying and her head laid on my chest. Again, I fought tears. I looked at her face to find that she had a severe eye infection. It was oozing and she looked as if she was in a lot of pain. She felt warm to touch and I’m sure was suffering from an infection that her little body couldn’t fight. In my mind, I began to think back to my hospital at home and the place where I would work. If I were to hold an infant like this in the states I would be gowned, gloved, and with a facemask on for protection from any type of disease, but with this little girl in my arms, I didn’t care. I stroked her head as she laid on my chest. I went to the side room and prayed over her as two of my other teammates gathered around with their sweet infants. Tears fell. My heart was broken and I couldn’t understand. Time passed and I held this little girl, trying to get every spoonful of food I could down here; her belly was huge (protein deficiency) but her arms and legs were so skinny; she was greatly malnourished. It was time for their nap around noon and as I placed her back in her crib, she cried and cried. I picked her back up and she stopped, as peaceful as she could be as long as she was in the warmth of my arms. I had to put her down, telling myself that I could get her again after her nap. We left the room and let the children sleep while we visited another orphanage for a few hours.
(To read more about Lauren's experiences check out chosenbyyou.blogspot.com)
Monday was a really emotional day for a lot of us. We went to an orphanage called Mother Theresa where sick and dying babies were being held. I say held instead of taken care of because these babies are pretty much just placed in this orphanage to die. The people there do not have the right supplies nor the education to provide for these babies. Imagine a room full of cribs where crippled, disease infected, and cancerous babies lay screaming and crying for attention. It was so heart breaking to see such innocent children with fatal diseases. I could go on and on, but my friend who was in the midst of a terrible nightmare that day wrote perfectly what all took place- this is written by Lauren Phillips, a sweet soul who is passionate about helping children in need:
"At the beginning of the week, my team and I experienced a traumatic passing of an infant that cut down deep within me but changed my life forever. Bear with me as I try to vividly re-tell the story. On Monday, we had the opportunity to visit a home for dying and abandoned babies. When I first heard of this home, I was so excited and I couldn’t wait to go and hold, feed, and bathe babies, but I did not fully understand the heart-wrenching sights that I was about to see. When we arrived and I stepped foot into this home, my heart immediately dropped and I fought tears like never before. Wiping my face with the sleeve of my arm, I made my way down the stairs and before me were rows and rows of cribs filled with sick and dying infants. I cannot express to you in words how many there were; row after row and room after room. As I looked, these infants didn’t even seem to have an identity; their bed was labeled with a number. As I tried to process this scene, my mind began to think, “Are theses infants just a number here?? Is this real??” Inside, my heart was screaming as I looked at each infant. Even though they couldn’t’ understand, I told them, you matter. You are not just a number to Christ. He cares for you. He knew you even before you were formed in your mother’s womb. He loves you so much. This pain will end soon. Hold on little one. I was angry and I couldn’t believe my eyes. I walked through the row of cribs and touched each tiny little hand that reached out for me, starving for love, and begging me to pick them up. I immediately scooped up a sweet baby girl and as soon as she was in my arms, she stopped crying and her head laid on my chest. Again, I fought tears. I looked at her face to find that she had a severe eye infection. It was oozing and she looked as if she was in a lot of pain. She felt warm to touch and I’m sure was suffering from an infection that her little body couldn’t fight. In my mind, I began to think back to my hospital at home and the place where I would work. If I were to hold an infant like this in the states I would be gowned, gloved, and with a facemask on for protection from any type of disease, but with this little girl in my arms, I didn’t care. I stroked her head as she laid on my chest. I went to the side room and prayed over her as two of my other teammates gathered around with their sweet infants. Tears fell. My heart was broken and I couldn’t understand. Time passed and I held this little girl, trying to get every spoonful of food I could down here; her belly was huge (protein deficiency) but her arms and legs were so skinny; she was greatly malnourished. It was time for their nap around noon and as I placed her back in her crib, she cried and cried. I picked her back up and she stopped, as peaceful as she could be as long as she was in the warmth of my arms. I had to put her down, telling myself that I could get her again after her nap. We left the room and let the children sleep while we visited another orphanage for a few hours.
Around 3pm, we returned. I went right to the same bed of my sweet little girl and as she reached for me, I scooped her up once again. I held her in my arms as I went to all the other cribs and touched their sweet, fragile, little hands and over each child I said a prayer. Within a few minutes a scene across the room caught my attention; a young mother was sobbing as she stroked her sweet babies face that lay so helpless in crib #14. I immediately noticed that this infant was on oxygen (a very ancient and rustic machine) and as I processed the scene, “Crib #14…this child looks familiar. I think we were holding her earlier,” I knew smoothing we was not right. I scanned the infant. So helpless, she laid in the crib gasping for air. She was so desperately trying to breath from her mouth as a nasal canula was pushed up her nose. My attention kept going back to the mother as she sobbed and sobbed trying to get the attention of one of the nanny’s. They kept shoving her away and telling her to just express her breast milk. The mother was holding a small medicine cup and as tears fell from her eyes, she tried to express any drop of milk that she could from each breast. My heart hurt. I wanted to run over to that mother and hold her in my arms. I wanted so desperately to comfort her but the language barrier made it hard for me to do that. Although I couldn’t fully understand what she was saying, I read her body language. I wanted to speak up and assess this infant. I wanted to help, but I didn’t know if I really had the place to do that. There was a respiratory therapist on our team and I grabbed her asking her to look across the room at this baby. She immediately felt the same way; she knew something was desperately wrong. We watched for a few seconds as this baby was gasping and these nanny’s were pouring breast milk down this babies throat with a small medicine cup. My heart screamed, “What are you doing?? This infant is going to aspirate. You have no idea what you are doing! STOP.” The baby then starts to foam at the mouth and her eyes froze open. This image is forever implanted in my mind. A nun comes down the stairs and goes into the back room where she begins to draw up some type of medicine. My heart told me, “Lauren, go talk to this lady.” I made my way over to her and said that I was a new Graduate Nurse and this baby needed immediate help. I was so surprised at her response. She spoke English and every word pleaded, “Please help me!” In that very moment, as I remember every emotion rush over me, I panicked. I didn’t know what to do. I had to stop myself and say, “Ok Lauren, you have just graduated from Nursing school. You are going to be a NICU nurse. You know what to do,” but everything within side of me didn’t. We had absolutely no resources to work with. Everything that this place had was donated, even the expired meds. I frantically searched that back room for anything only to find nothing. I made my way to the infants crib along with our respiratory therapist and team leader. I felt for a pulse…there was nothing. We started CPR on the sweet baby girl. This moment was so surreal. We are performing CPR on this infant, the mother is sobbing right next to us screaming words we can’t understand, and every infant in this home was crying. It was as if they knew what was going on, as if this was a daily occurrence and in their mind they were next. No matter how young they were, they knew the tragedy that was taking place in crib #14. My heart raced and I cannot express the sea of emotions I was in. After about 20 minutes of CPR, we continued to get no pulse. I knew there was nothing we could do. Even if this baby did start breathing again, we wouldn’t have any type of resources to keep her alive. I prayed knowing that this situation was out of my hands and God was in control of it all. “Lord, if this child is meant to live, You are going to have to do it.” Tear after tear fell from my eyes as we stopped CPR and this infant died before us. My two team members and I along with a pastor wrapped our arms around each other and prayed and even though we didn’t understand, we knew God was still God.
This was the hardest day of my life. Part of me was so angry and I couldn’t understand all the suffering that was going on in this home for dying and abandoned babies. Most of these infants would probably never make it out or get better. They would die there. Most were lost, abandoned, without an identity, and suffering from some horrible disease that even their caretakers couldn’t define. But at the end of the day, through this traumatic experience, I find joy and peace in the arms of my savior because no matter what, God is still God. I know God changed hearts and lives that day. The mother of the baby that died saw us praying over and fighting for her infant, something she has never felt or seen before. She saw us putting our full faith and trust in God. And through this, I know she found comfort and had an encounter with Christ.
That day, after we got back to the guesthouse and debriefed our day, I laid in bed and through tears I prayed over each little hand I touch and each infant I held. And in the beauty of it all I was reminded of God’s promises"(To read more about Lauren's experiences check out chosenbyyou.blogspot.com)
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Haitian Happiness (Days 1, 2, & 3)
While I was in Haiti for 10 days, the only thing that kept me sane and somewhat emotionally stable was journaling. (Plus I have a bad memory so writing down what each day held was essential to remembering what all happened!) I wanted to share what God laid on my heart each day while I was in Haiti- I hope you get more out of this than I did experiencing it all.
Day 1- Friday, May 13, 2011
Today was a full day of flying. I was sick most of the time and tried to just focus on getting better. I flew from Little Rock to Dallas to Miami where I finally met my team. We flew a little over 2 hours to Haiti and I was immediately in shock at the way Haiti looks. I am rooming with three girls (Lauren, Heidi, and Jeni) and we all can't get over how poverty looks here in Port Au Prince. Driving to our guest house was tear jerking. God has blessed me more than I deserve. I am so unworthy and deserve nothing, but God wants to give me everything because He loves me so much. At the airport, men would beg to carry your bags just for a dollar tip. They would carry your bag (once they ripped it out of your hands) and then expect a tip when you didn't even ask for their help in the first place. My heart broke seeing those men do almost anything to earn a buck, yet I go and spend $4 at Starbucks without even thinking twice.
It is extremely hot here. I am laying on my bunk, under a mosquito net, using my ipod as a flash light, and sweating so bad. I asked Lauren to read Matthew 6 to me because that is all that has been popping into my head after seeing what I saw coming into Haiti. People in the U.S. think donating money is enough, but if they saw first hand what the world really looks like and how a family has to live like they do over here, then people would not think twice about doing more.
Flying into Port Au Prince, Haiti
Day 2- Saturday, May 14, 2011 (Inauguration Day for Haiti President)
JEREMIAH 29:11
It is incredibly hot here. It is almost 10:00 pm and it is 90 degrees in our room. We rigged up our fans to try and get more air flow but its barely working!
We woke up at 7:00 am and got ready for the day. We ate breakfast and did devotional. God has placed the most amazing people together for this trip. Each person is so unique and so different. God knows what He is doing. We are all able to use our talents together on this trip to glorify God- it leaves me speechless. After breakfast, we went and picked up a man named Tom who helped start the Healing Haiti foundation (www.healinghaiti.org). He has such a sweet spirit and is always so happy. Tom took us to an orphanage his brother and sister in law started called Grace Village. It is a place that will help orphaned children live a life full of significance. Tom rode with us to the orphanage that we stayed at all day. His friend, FanFan, came along too- he is such a character!
When we got to the orphanage, about 30 sweet babies anxiously awaited us. They sang songs about Jesus and prayed for us right when we got there. It was so moving to see Gods spirit inside those children. We played sports, jump rope, arts and crafts, and more with the kids for about 5 hours. Lori made a great point about the pros and cons of orphanages. All those kids strive for is love and care. Christ has called us just to do that. It has deeply moved me to know I am doing what God has called us to do. there is an unexplainable peace about it all.
Grace Village
At one of the first orphanages we went to.
Day 1- Friday, May 13, 2011
Today was a full day of flying. I was sick most of the time and tried to just focus on getting better. I flew from Little Rock to Dallas to Miami where I finally met my team. We flew a little over 2 hours to Haiti and I was immediately in shock at the way Haiti looks. I am rooming with three girls (Lauren, Heidi, and Jeni) and we all can't get over how poverty looks here in Port Au Prince. Driving to our guest house was tear jerking. God has blessed me more than I deserve. I am so unworthy and deserve nothing, but God wants to give me everything because He loves me so much. At the airport, men would beg to carry your bags just for a dollar tip. They would carry your bag (once they ripped it out of your hands) and then expect a tip when you didn't even ask for their help in the first place. My heart broke seeing those men do almost anything to earn a buck, yet I go and spend $4 at Starbucks without even thinking twice.
It is extremely hot here. I am laying on my bunk, under a mosquito net, using my ipod as a flash light, and sweating so bad. I asked Lauren to read Matthew 6 to me because that is all that has been popping into my head after seeing what I saw coming into Haiti. People in the U.S. think donating money is enough, but if they saw first hand what the world really looks like and how a family has to live like they do over here, then people would not think twice about doing more.
Tomorrow is our first day at the orphanage. I'm anxious and can't wait to see what God has in store. He is way too good to me- I have to share His love with others.
Journey 117 Team (left to right, top to bottom)-
Amber, Callie, Jeni, Me, Lauren, Luke, Jeff, Sondra, Heidi, Amber, Lori, and Tania
Journey 117 Team (left to right, top to bottom)-
Flying into Port Au Prince, HaitiDay 2- Saturday, May 14, 2011 (Inauguration Day for Haiti President)
JEREMIAH 29:11
It is incredibly hot here. It is almost 10:00 pm and it is 90 degrees in our room. We rigged up our fans to try and get more air flow but its barely working!
We woke up at 7:00 am and got ready for the day. We ate breakfast and did devotional. God has placed the most amazing people together for this trip. Each person is so unique and so different. God knows what He is doing. We are all able to use our talents together on this trip to glorify God- it leaves me speechless. After breakfast, we went and picked up a man named Tom who helped start the Healing Haiti foundation (www.healinghaiti.org). He has such a sweet spirit and is always so happy. Tom took us to an orphanage his brother and sister in law started called Grace Village. It is a place that will help orphaned children live a life full of significance. Tom rode with us to the orphanage that we stayed at all day. His friend, FanFan, came along too- he is such a character!
When we got to the orphanage, about 30 sweet babies anxiously awaited us. They sang songs about Jesus and prayed for us right when we got there. It was so moving to see Gods spirit inside those children. We played sports, jump rope, arts and crafts, and more with the kids for about 5 hours. Lori made a great point about the pros and cons of orphanages. All those kids strive for is love and care. Christ has called us just to do that. It has deeply moved me to know I am doing what God has called us to do. there is an unexplainable peace about it all.
We got back to the guest house (after a horrible car ride- which I will never, or try not to, complain about the roads back home again) around 4:00 pm, relaxed, and ate dinner around 5:00 pm. Tomorrow is church, visiting and praying with families, and building water filters. I'm excited to see what tomorrow holds for all of us!
Grace Village
At one of the first orphanages we went to.THINGS TO BRING ON NEXT MISSION TRIP:
-Flashlight (its gets dark early)
-Portable TP (you never know when you'll be peeing in a bucket)
-More clothes (you go through so many pairs of clothes when you sweat as much as I did)
-Trash bag for dirty clothes (so your duffel bag won't be stinking when you travel back home)
-Woolite (just in case you get super desperate and have to hand wash your clothes)
-Face wash (soap isn't good enough)
-More snacks (beans and rice just don't cut it)
-Tiny fan (trust me when I say it's ridiculously hot in Haiti)
-Propel packets (add a little taste to your agua)
-Wrist watch (not knowing the time is disturbing to me)
-Mirror (you never know when a place you stay at doesn't have one)
-Medicine (midol, nyquil, anything.....getting sick is no fun)
Day 3- Sunday, May 15, 2011
-Flashlight (its gets dark early)
-Portable TP (you never know when you'll be peeing in a bucket)
-More clothes (you go through so many pairs of clothes when you sweat as much as I did)
-Trash bag for dirty clothes (so your duffel bag won't be stinking when you travel back home)
-Woolite (just in case you get super desperate and have to hand wash your clothes)
-Face wash (soap isn't good enough)
-More snacks (beans and rice just don't cut it)
-Tiny fan (trust me when I say it's ridiculously hot in Haiti)
-Propel packets (add a little taste to your agua)
-Wrist watch (not knowing the time is disturbing to me)
-Mirror (you never know when a place you stay at doesn't have one)
-Medicine (midol, nyquil, anything.....getting sick is no fun)
Day 3- Sunday, May 15, 2011
LUKE 14:7-11 (Be humble), PSALM 23, PSALM 33
I can officially say that I have used the bathroom in a bucket. Not a pleasant experience, but at least I can say I did it. I learned a couple of new terms today- chicken buddy and haitian happiness. Chicken buddy is what they call "goose bumps" because it looks like the skin of a chicken when you pluck their feathers.....yuck, I know. Haitian happiness refers to using the bathroom, because with all this beans and rice, you never know when you're going to be able to go!
It's 8:20 pm and I am just not getting relaxed to be able to journal. I had such an amazing day. This day, like everyday, was a huge gift from God. We woke up at 6:30 am and got ready for church. After we ate breakfast, Ron (World Orphans director in Haiti and our translator) and our driver, Jon, picked us up for church which was about 15-20 minutes away. We pulled up to a beaten down hole in the wall place where a handful of adults and children were praising and worshiping God. It was that moment that I saw how huge Christ really is. To see people from a totally different culture worshiping in a different language and yet still praising the same God we praise was absolutely amazing. I didn't understand most of anything, but you could feel Gods presence in that place.
After church, we met with the pastor of the church and had a little meeting to know more about the organizations that deal with orphans through the church. Ron had to translate the whole time so it started to get somewhat tiring, plus the heat did not help out either. But once again, I found myself really knowing what it is like to be deeply and truly thankful for what God has blessed me with.
After our meeting we went and visited families that have orphans staying with them. We were the first ministry group to come visit the church and community which was a huge deal to everyone. The pastor told us they had always been promised help and visits but no one ever showed up. He said they has to "see it to believe it" which they had ended up truly believing after seeing us- what an awesome thing to be apart of! God is so good!
We walked all around that community and visited about 4-5 families. I can't even begin to describe the things I saw and even smelt. These helpless people lost a ton of stuff in the earthquake and are still in dire need of help. Every time we walked up to where the families lived, which was a tent or a small tin house, they rushed the kids inside to look their "sundays best" and hid all their dirtiness that they could. Lori made a point that aren't we all the exact same way before Christ? We try to cover up our "dirtiness" and put on our best for God when He accepts us just the way we are.
One family we met was struggling so bad for money that they didn't even eat on weekends. It was about 3 adult females and 4 children. They lost they man of the family in the earthquake and were struggling to find money to pay rent. Every 5 years they have to pay just $250 to live in their home and they can barely find the money for that, yet we spend that much on a designer purse. Incredible how God convicts us of the way we spend our money. I pray God never lets me forget that. We decided to try and get something started so we can raise money for this family and maybe more to start their own little business of selling things in the market down the street.
I started to feel numb to it all- like I had no emotions. I saw this one baby, no older than a year, with a massive hernia in his stomach and couldn't even cry over it because I was filled with so much confusion. I know God has a plan/purpose for everything, but why am I so blessed with so much and yet these people have absolutely nothing. I pray God answers this for me in time and provides me the wisdom and knowledge to understand and know what to do with what He has given me.
Around 4:00 pm we got back to the guest house and cleaned up for dinner. I can now say I have washed my hair haitian style (in the same bucket of water we hand washed our clothes in) with three other girls. God is providing such fun experiences and memories for me!
I was exhausted tonight and kind of put out with myself and the way I had been feeling. I almost felt like today wasn't very moving or any miracles took place because we weren't doing anything but talking and visiting families. After devotional tonight, Lori told us we had a surprise waiting for us on our bed. The best surprise I have ever received! Our families had written us letters of encouragement and boy did I get emotional! God knew exactly what He was doing on this because the words from everyone was exactly what I needed to hear on this very day.
Here is a little preview of some sweet, caring words from my sweet, precious boyfriend:
"I am so proud of you for going out on this limb and trusting God to provide and protect you on this trip, even when you were nervous about what to expect. You have stretched yourself out of your comfort zone and I know that God is blessing you tremendously for all you have done."
God knows my heart, why do I ever doubt Him? Thank you, Lord, for loving me.
Heidi, Lauren, and me headed to church Sunday morning.
Us girls washing our hair, haitian style!
I can officially say that I have used the bathroom in a bucket. Not a pleasant experience, but at least I can say I did it. I learned a couple of new terms today- chicken buddy and haitian happiness. Chicken buddy is what they call "goose bumps" because it looks like the skin of a chicken when you pluck their feathers.....yuck, I know. Haitian happiness refers to using the bathroom, because with all this beans and rice, you never know when you're going to be able to go!
It's 8:20 pm and I am just not getting relaxed to be able to journal. I had such an amazing day. This day, like everyday, was a huge gift from God. We woke up at 6:30 am and got ready for church. After we ate breakfast, Ron (World Orphans director in Haiti and our translator) and our driver, Jon, picked us up for church which was about 15-20 minutes away. We pulled up to a beaten down hole in the wall place where a handful of adults and children were praising and worshiping God. It was that moment that I saw how huge Christ really is. To see people from a totally different culture worshiping in a different language and yet still praising the same God we praise was absolutely amazing. I didn't understand most of anything, but you could feel Gods presence in that place.
After church, we met with the pastor of the church and had a little meeting to know more about the organizations that deal with orphans through the church. Ron had to translate the whole time so it started to get somewhat tiring, plus the heat did not help out either. But once again, I found myself really knowing what it is like to be deeply and truly thankful for what God has blessed me with.
After our meeting we went and visited families that have orphans staying with them. We were the first ministry group to come visit the church and community which was a huge deal to everyone. The pastor told us they had always been promised help and visits but no one ever showed up. He said they has to "see it to believe it" which they had ended up truly believing after seeing us- what an awesome thing to be apart of! God is so good!
We walked all around that community and visited about 4-5 families. I can't even begin to describe the things I saw and even smelt. These helpless people lost a ton of stuff in the earthquake and are still in dire need of help. Every time we walked up to where the families lived, which was a tent or a small tin house, they rushed the kids inside to look their "sundays best" and hid all their dirtiness that they could. Lori made a point that aren't we all the exact same way before Christ? We try to cover up our "dirtiness" and put on our best for God when He accepts us just the way we are.
One family we met was struggling so bad for money that they didn't even eat on weekends. It was about 3 adult females and 4 children. They lost they man of the family in the earthquake and were struggling to find money to pay rent. Every 5 years they have to pay just $250 to live in their home and they can barely find the money for that, yet we spend that much on a designer purse. Incredible how God convicts us of the way we spend our money. I pray God never lets me forget that. We decided to try and get something started so we can raise money for this family and maybe more to start their own little business of selling things in the market down the street.
I started to feel numb to it all- like I had no emotions. I saw this one baby, no older than a year, with a massive hernia in his stomach and couldn't even cry over it because I was filled with so much confusion. I know God has a plan/purpose for everything, but why am I so blessed with so much and yet these people have absolutely nothing. I pray God answers this for me in time and provides me the wisdom and knowledge to understand and know what to do with what He has given me.
Around 4:00 pm we got back to the guest house and cleaned up for dinner. I can now say I have washed my hair haitian style (in the same bucket of water we hand washed our clothes in) with three other girls. God is providing such fun experiences and memories for me!
I was exhausted tonight and kind of put out with myself and the way I had been feeling. I almost felt like today wasn't very moving or any miracles took place because we weren't doing anything but talking and visiting families. After devotional tonight, Lori told us we had a surprise waiting for us on our bed. The best surprise I have ever received! Our families had written us letters of encouragement and boy did I get emotional! God knew exactly what He was doing on this because the words from everyone was exactly what I needed to hear on this very day.
Here is a little preview of some sweet, caring words from my sweet, precious boyfriend:
"I am so proud of you for going out on this limb and trusting God to provide and protect you on this trip, even when you were nervous about what to expect. You have stretched yourself out of your comfort zone and I know that God is blessing you tremendously for all you have done."
God knows my heart, why do I ever doubt Him? Thank you, Lord, for loving me.
Heidi, Lauren, and me headed to church Sunday morning.
Us girls washing our hair, haitian style!Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Faces of God
If only pictures did justice on how precious the people of Haiti are; God is present and God is moving in Haiti. The power of prayer is HUGE- keep praying and enjoy looking at the beautiful faces of God.
I wanted to save the picture above last for many reasons. To me, this picture describes perfectly my trip to Haiti. Not only did I latch onto the children there (as much as they did me) but I latched onto a beautiful spirit and long life friend. I went on this trip not knowing a soul, as did everyone else, and I would not have done it any differently. I met Lauren Phillips on my way to Haiti in the Miami Airport. Our spirits immediately clicked- in so many ways! She is absolutely the most encouraging woman of God I have ever met my age. She has such a radiance of God flowing off of her and you can't help but want to be close to her (even in a tiny bunk bed when its 100 degrees and the AC isn't working!) Lauren has a love for children and a love for what Christ has called us all to do. But not just any kind of love, it is a love like Christ has for us- an unfailing, never ending, passionate love. I am so touched by this beautiful girl and I know God has placed her in my path for a reason. We have shared so many laughs, so many tears, and so much sweat (literately!) As Lauren would say, "God has a plan for our lives- don't run from it, but embrace it!" Such sweet words from a gorgeous soul. Thank you, Lauren, for all you have done in my life in such a short time. I cannot wait for our friendship to continue.......forever!
I wanted to save the picture above last for many reasons. To me, this picture describes perfectly my trip to Haiti. Not only did I latch onto the children there (as much as they did me) but I latched onto a beautiful spirit and long life friend. I went on this trip not knowing a soul, as did everyone else, and I would not have done it any differently. I met Lauren Phillips on my way to Haiti in the Miami Airport. Our spirits immediately clicked- in so many ways! She is absolutely the most encouraging woman of God I have ever met my age. She has such a radiance of God flowing off of her and you can't help but want to be close to her (even in a tiny bunk bed when its 100 degrees and the AC isn't working!) Lauren has a love for children and a love for what Christ has called us all to do. But not just any kind of love, it is a love like Christ has for us- an unfailing, never ending, passionate love. I am so touched by this beautiful girl and I know God has placed her in my path for a reason. We have shared so many laughs, so many tears, and so much sweat (literately!) As Lauren would say, "God has a plan for our lives- don't run from it, but embrace it!" Such sweet words from a gorgeous soul. Thank you, Lauren, for all you have done in my life in such a short time. I cannot wait for our friendship to continue.......forever!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Healing Haiti
Wow! Where to start?
The people of Haiti are just like you and me; they have a house, a family, and basic needs such as food, clothing, and water. The difference is they are struggling DAILY to have these needs met. They can barely survive and can barely afford anything. Some are late on rent, some are starving, and some are searching through trash and rubble just to find something that they think they might need. Rice and beans are a daily ONE time meal; not like the three huge course meals we get every single day (plus more). Clean water is scarce throughout Port au Prince, so seeing people trying to feel up buckets in the dirtiest rivers is normal. Some kids go to school, if they can afford it, while others are already working on the streets at the age of four. Almost every family had a member die in the earthquake and most of those people were the males that supplied the money and support, while other men just left their families, not wanting anything to do with them.
While I was in Haiti I was able to work with places that prepared children for adoption, an orphanage that deals with sick and dying babies, a church that delivers water filters to people in need of clean water, and build strong, Godly relationships with people that will last a lifetime.
I was so stuck in my American bubble, so comfortable in being who I was that is blows my mind to realizing how blind I was to what the world really looks like. God has so graciously opened my eyes to seeing things I only thought I knew about. My heart is broken and I am just in shock that our brothers and sisters in Christ are suffering as much as they are. If I feel this way I can only imagine how our Father God feels.
Christ has called us in James 1:27 to “visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” The word visit means to go to and stay with (a person or family) or at (a place) for a short time for different reasons. God wants us to just give our time and our love to these people, whether it’s overseas or in your back yard. God has placed those people around you for a purpose. My prayer for you and me is to first of all, seek Gods word and see what He says about the poor, the needy, the orphan, and the widowed. Next, to pray over what He wants you to do about it and to then take that next step of faith by getting out of your comfort zone and completely entrusting Christ with your life because ,after all, we are all called to “deny ourselves, pick up our cross, and follow Him daily.” (Matthew 16:24)
Once again, thank you. I cannot say enough how much I appreciate your help, whether it was financially or with prayers. God is so good and has an amazing plan for our lives. Don’t run from it, but embrace it.
With all praise and glory to God,
Amanda Woodruff
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Waiting here for You
"Do not labor for the food that perishes, but for the good that endures to eternal life, which the Son of man will give to you" John 6:27
God's answer to our prayer is to just sit down and believe. Without Him, we have nothing- we are so sinful and so weak and so deceived, yet God can overcome ALL of that. How beautiful is it that our Father looks with us with love and delight, despite all of our evil ways, and loves us, HIS BRIDE, as He loves His son. That is breathtaking for me to imagine. I can't explain how this fulfills my hearts deepest desires and my true acceptance with God. I pray that God will not let a day go by without reminding me of this and to make me independent because I am so worthless without Him.
Feast on God's love, His truth, and the beauty of His words:
Sit down; eat, drink, and believe.
"I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst" John 6:35
God's answer to our prayer is to just sit down and believe. Without Him, we have nothing- we are so sinful and so weak and so deceived, yet God can overcome ALL of that. How beautiful is it that our Father looks with us with love and delight, despite all of our evil ways, and loves us, HIS BRIDE, as He loves His son. That is breathtaking for me to imagine. I can't explain how this fulfills my hearts deepest desires and my true acceptance with God. I pray that God will not let a day go by without reminding me of this and to make me independent because I am so worthless without Him.
Feast on God's love, His truth, and the beauty of His words:
- He loved you and chose you before the earth was created (Eph. 1:4)
- Even though you were intentionally fighting against him as his enemy, he loved you and intentionally died in your place(Rom. 5:10)
- You have been completely absolved of all your sins, even those you have yet to commit (Col. 1:14)
- The record of all your sin has been obliterated (Col. 2:14)
- The record of his perfect life has been applied to you (2 Cor. 5:21)
- His Father has permanently adopted you as a beloved child (Eph. 1:5)
- He has placed his Spirit within you as a guarantee that you will persevere (Eph. 1:13)
- He is guarding you every moment of every day (1 Pet. 1:5)
- He is faithful to care for you even in the midst of trials (1 Cor. 10:13)
- One day you will take your first step into light, and that eternal journey will bring you more joy and blessing that you can ever imagine (Ps. 16:11)
Sit down; eat, drink, and believe.
"I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst" John 6:35
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Are you like Mary or Martha?
I'm always in a rush. A rush to school, to work, to work out, to tan, to eat, to do homework before its due the next night......
This morning I woke up late because I was tired from staying up the night before doing a last minute book report due before 8:30 AM the next morning. I rushed around to get ready and go observe for 4 hours at an elementary school, then I knew I would have to rush straight to work shortly after I was done observing. While I was sitting in class, observing these precious 2nd graders, I thought to myself of everything I have to get done today......class, work, grocery store, tan, work out, eat, pick my sister up to run errands.....the list went on and on. I was starting to stress myself out and worry like I promised myself over and over I would not do.
Out of some miracle, I actually got home a little earlier than expected, just enough time to eat and pick up around the house. As I was starting to put up the dishes a crystal clear thought ran through my head about the story of Mary and Martha.....for those of you who don't know the story, let me lay it out for you:
Martha and Mary offered hospitality to Jesus. Mary sat and listened to him as he talked, but Martha objected to the fact that she was left with all the work. Jesus told Martha not to worry about small things, but to concentrate on what was important.
"As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42
Convicting enough? Sure was for me. God brought my own sin before my eyes and brought me to my knees. Sometimes we tend to get a little aggravated when our own parents call us out on a lie or on some sort of action we did that was wrong, but the older I get, the more I realize how incredibly thankful I am for that kind of love. Not only will our earthly parents point out our wrong doings, but our Heavenly Father convicts us of our sins in order for us to run straight to Him.
So what did I do? I slammed that dish washer door shut and came into my bedroom and cried out to my Father. He longs for that kind of relationship where we just can cry out to Him. We don't have to go into some deep, meaningful prayer just to cry out to our God. Repeating His name over and over and over is just as important to His heart than anything else.
God reminded me that I need to quit being in such a rush; to take one day at a time and to see His beauty and grace through every bit of it. That's true love. That's everlasting love.
God is still in control. Even when we seem far off from His will, we aren't. Just look beside you. He is right there, holding our hands every step of the way. Listen to Him, praise His name, glorify Him in everything you do. And when you seem to get off track, remember that He is only a cry away.
What a blessing......thank you Lord, thank you.....
This morning I woke up late because I was tired from staying up the night before doing a last minute book report due before 8:30 AM the next morning. I rushed around to get ready and go observe for 4 hours at an elementary school, then I knew I would have to rush straight to work shortly after I was done observing. While I was sitting in class, observing these precious 2nd graders, I thought to myself of everything I have to get done today......class, work, grocery store, tan, work out, eat, pick my sister up to run errands.....the list went on and on. I was starting to stress myself out and worry like I promised myself over and over I would not do.
Out of some miracle, I actually got home a little earlier than expected, just enough time to eat and pick up around the house. As I was starting to put up the dishes a crystal clear thought ran through my head about the story of Mary and Martha.....for those of you who don't know the story, let me lay it out for you:
Martha and Mary offered hospitality to Jesus. Mary sat and listened to him as he talked, but Martha objected to the fact that she was left with all the work. Jesus told Martha not to worry about small things, but to concentrate on what was important.
"As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42
Convicting enough? Sure was for me. God brought my own sin before my eyes and brought me to my knees. Sometimes we tend to get a little aggravated when our own parents call us out on a lie or on some sort of action we did that was wrong, but the older I get, the more I realize how incredibly thankful I am for that kind of love. Not only will our earthly parents point out our wrong doings, but our Heavenly Father convicts us of our sins in order for us to run straight to Him.
So what did I do? I slammed that dish washer door shut and came into my bedroom and cried out to my Father. He longs for that kind of relationship where we just can cry out to Him. We don't have to go into some deep, meaningful prayer just to cry out to our God. Repeating His name over and over and over is just as important to His heart than anything else.
God reminded me that I need to quit being in such a rush; to take one day at a time and to see His beauty and grace through every bit of it. That's true love. That's everlasting love.
God is still in control. Even when we seem far off from His will, we aren't. Just look beside you. He is right there, holding our hands every step of the way. Listen to Him, praise His name, glorify Him in everything you do. And when you seem to get off track, remember that He is only a cry away.
What a blessing......thank you Lord, thank you.....
Monday, February 14, 2011
Winter Snow
Could've come like a mighty storm
With all the strength of a hurricane
You could've come like a forest fire
With the power of heaven in Your flame
But You came like a winter snow
Quiet and soft and slow
Falling from the sky in the night
To the earth below
You could've swept in like a tidal wave
Or an ocean to ravish our hearts
You could have come through like a roaring flood
To wipe away the things we've scarred
But You came like a winter snow
You were quiet
You were soft and slow
Falling from the sky in the night
To the earth below
Oh, no, Your voice wasn't in a bush burning
No, Your voice wasn't in a rushing wind
It was still
It was small
It was hidden
You came like a winter snow
Quiet and soft and slow
Falling from the sky in the night
To the earth below
Falling
To the earth below
You came falling
From the sky in the night
To the earth below
(Praise our Father for His beautiful grace and mercy)
With all the strength of a hurricane
You could've come like a forest fire
With the power of heaven in Your flame
But You came like a winter snow
Quiet and soft and slow
Falling from the sky in the night
To the earth below
You could've swept in like a tidal wave
Or an ocean to ravish our hearts
You could have come through like a roaring flood
To wipe away the things we've scarred
But You came like a winter snow
You were quiet
You were soft and slow
Falling from the sky in the night
To the earth below
Oh, no, Your voice wasn't in a bush burning
No, Your voice wasn't in a rushing wind
It was still
It was small
It was hidden
You came like a winter snow
Quiet and soft and slow
Falling from the sky in the night
To the earth below
Falling
To the earth below
You came falling
From the sky in the night
To the earth below
(Praise our Father for His beautiful grace and mercy)
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